All of us have wounds. All of us have a choice to stay angry and bitter, living in memories of what has hurt us. Many choose to stay in that place. It is a dark, miserable place. It has often been said forgiveness is for you not for the other person. How very true that is.
Sometimes we are afraid to forgive; afraid this will make us more vulnerable to be hurt again. So instead of choosing to forgive and living our lives in happiness today we construct a wall of harsh judgement to hide behind, thinking this will keep us safe. This is not safety. And it is certainly not creating peace and contentment within.
To love deeply and completely requires the ability to forgive or else the walls we construct prevent love from getting through. To help us forgive we are to remember there can be good traits in those we may despise; and some defects in those we admire.
I think part of finishing to become a mature human being is to realize despite our ideals, values, and long held dreams of how we “should” be, each of us, if given the right set of circumstances meshing with our particular vulnerabilities, are capable of doing things we never thought we would or could do. It is a humbling realization.
To realize we may be capable of doing things we condemn others for is indeed humbling. It is also freeing. Now we are able to loosen our tight grip on grudges and highly justified anger. Now we can let go of the past, forgive what needs forgiving, and love our way through our problems, love our way through our relationships and love our way through our day.
Mary Seyuin, M.A. LLP