Future Beacon

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao Tzu

Through time there’s been much talk about “falling” in love. It is perhaps like stepping off a cliff. Here we were, with our feet solidly on the ground. Then suddenly we abandon this security to leap off in faith to fly on the strong wings of love. Many a love story ends well. Many a love story ends sadly. Never-the-less we are always made more whole by loving and being loved. When it goes well we reap the rewards for a life time.

So how do we improve our odds of love going well in our lives? We all have individual wave patterns of emotions and needs. At times we feel love more strongly and have a deep desire to connect with the object of our affections. Then there are times when our natural need to be separate and express our individuality comes to the surface. These waves are usually different for each person. Understanding this helps us avoid the pitfall of feeling rejected and getting defensive or worse offensive when this occurs.

We need to make the choice to love even in the moments we do not feel we are getting the love we jumped off the cliff for. We need to face the fact each of us has quirks and quarks and warts of all kinds. We need to choose to love despite them all. Sometimes it is like being in a dark maze, not knowing which turn will lead us to the happiness we seek. What we need to realize is that when we insist on making the loving choice, even in the midst of uncertainties and difficulties, happiness finds us. There is, like the teacher Lao Tzu states, much strength that comes from being loved and much courage from loving another. It takes courage to keep making the choice to love regardless of our own fears, regardless of the many curves life hits us with.

Love is a precious commodity, too easily lost by failing to make choices that are motivated by love. As the Beatles’ old song says “Money can’t buy me love”; nor can false pride, nor the need to be right; nor the need to stay in control; nor the need to stay safe inside a cocoon.

Choosing love over and over and over again in the face of strong winds that try to push us elsewhere creates the deep sustaining elements that make our lives worth the living of it.

            -Mary Seyuin, M.A. LLP